Greetings you constant comrades of Cowman! Howdy you breathless bovine buffs!
Howya doin' you faithful fans of our fearless friend?! Okay...maybe Cowman isn't entirely fearless and maybe you're not a loyal fan
and/or friend of Cowman. The guy hasn't been around all that long...still kinda
new to the game...still has lots of holes to punch on his time card. And I know
what you're thinking. Does the superhero community still use those old style
time cards with a hole punch? The answer is: yes...yes they do. Utility belts
don't come cheap folks, these guys have to cut costs where they can.
If you're new to 'The Adventures of Cowman' fear not! All of those adventures
are still here to catch up on, but if you're not into back issues and wanna get
the skinny on what's been going on before you make Cowman part of your twice
weekly routine along with coffee and the toilet then here's the story so far.
And I know what you're thinking again. Did I just use the expression 'the skinny'
like a 1950's soda jerk? The answer is: yes...yes I did. I don't have a reason
for that one though. This is just the important stuff guys, you'll need to read
the comics for all the nitty gritty...but otherwise beware of spoilers ahead.
Our story began not with Cowman, but with his slightly younger and significantly
dorkier alter ego, Herman Marvin. Herman was on a field trip at a local farm
that had recently fallen victim to some chemical contamination, when he was bit
by a radioactive cow. The incident imbued Herman Marvin with the powers of the
cow and forever changed his life. Now as Cowman he stands up for truth, justice
and the farmland way. Don't know what the farmland way is? Ask someone other
than Cowman,cuz he doesn't know either. Cowman divides his time between fighting
crime in Pig Knuckle County and hanging out at his favourite watering hole, The
Grass Hut with his buddies, Farmer Budd, Micheal Burkowitz, Milkman Stu and the
owner and bartender of The Grass Hut, Ted Kahananui. The bunch of them spend
hours talking about everything random, and when they're not available Cowman
hangs with the local wildlife, the other cows, the pigs, the chickens...he
To help kick off his newfangled crime fighting career, Cowman dropped in on
Detective Gloria Chick while at the crime scene of a mysterious murder in which
the victim was found with an unproduced screenplay crammed down his throat.
Detective Chick, not really a fan of Cowman, humoured his interest in the crime
but was generally uninviting to his help. Cowman wasn't about to let that stop
him though. He asked her out anyway. She said no. Awkward.
Homicide detective Cowman is not however, and his crime time had to be divided.
He answered a call to help at a local china shop where he had his first serious
showdown with a new villain in town known as Bullzerk. Big, mean, red, half
human, half bull, Bullzerk was a science experiment gone bad. His fight went
bad too when he accidentally bit his tongue and called the fight off, maybe to
The next serial victim was found a top a pile of bootlegged DVD's but Cowman's
involvement in the investigation was again kept brief. Near by a jug of milk
reached it's expiry date and went bad, attacking and killing people across the
country side until Cowman interceded and made short work of it with a blender.
A stint of bad luck and unfortunate circumstances followed. Cowman was bit by a
Mad Cow...which ultimately wasn't all that bad but I mean come on, being bit by
a cow isn't usually a good thing. The radioactive one was an extenuating
circumstance. He also bumped into a cow named Bessy who once licked him and
things just got awkward. Then to top it all off he was kidnapped by an insane
fast food enthusiast who wanted to BBQ him as consolation for being banned from
all major fast food chains. Another murder victim was discovered with a pair of
3D glasses welded to his face and Cowman had to deal with a hangover from a rough
night of hard drinking and an encounter with Bessy.
Things took a turn though when the last serial victim was found with the word
'FRANCHISE' stamped onto his forehead. Stumped and frustrated, Detective Chick
came with Cowman to The Grass Hut where she met Micheal Burkowitz and immediately
pegged him as the mysterious serial killer they'd been hunting. Burkowitz took
Detective Chick hostage and after a hot pursuit and a brief battle Cowman brought
the killer to justice, earning an even briefer moment of respect from Chick. And
now you know the rest of the story.
New Cowman comics upload every Tuesday and Thursday.